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I have a cold. Oh, it will be my downfall. I cough like I am trying to hack up some foreign object and my nose runs at the worst possible moment. And I have had it for two weeks now. This past Thursday I was hit with aching limbs and a fever that nearly drove me to insanity, not too far away for me most days, but by Friday I was eating pizza and laughing with my sister at my Dad’s law office…not too bad for a few hours.

I got my permit. This doesn’t matter too much considering the fact that my Dad has a driver- let’s call him Cheeves. So now I have a Permit and nowhere to go. But beware the roads! It’s a little overdo considering the fact that I took Driver’s Ed in November of 2011. Yeah, I think I was originally named Procrastinator Payne. But yes, I have my permit… or at least the paper slip they give you in substitution of the actual Permit Id until it comes in the mail. So I am awaiting, anxiously, my potentially atrocious mug shot. I love to drive fast; perhaps every teenager loves to, or is it just the males? We like to be speedy. Speeding, it has a thrill to it. To see the speedometer slowly climbing up as your surroundings pass by you in a flood of images, almost mirage like. It’s exhilarating! I love to drive fast; contrary, to my Dad’s shriek every time I go slightly over 55 mph… which to me is hardly fast at all. My sisters, and especially my brother, drive fast as well. BB, Winifred, and Sarah’s number of accident can account for that. As for Achilles, he is pretty skilled, but still at times holding on to the door is like holding onto a life preserver in the middle of a Tsunami.

Don’t get me wrong, I have had…What? Two? When I was two my grandfather, Parpie, had been teaching me to start the ignition with the keys, the whole shebang. Well, one afternoon my mother ran into her one of her many friends’ houses for a few minutes to grab something, and well you know how women are…they socialize! But anyways, she had taken out the keys and placed them in the cup holder next to the driver’s seat. Sarah and Mary were in the backseat, “angelic” as ever, and I sat in the middle, where I could see the keys perfectly, devious as ever. To make a long story short, I somehow managed to turn on the car and drive it directly into the house. No one was hurt, but how many people can say they drove a car into a house at the age of two? Bad-ass Hmm, well it’s up there, but I still think the fact that I broke the record for fattest, or heaviest, baby born in my hospital to be noteworthy. I was 11 lbs. 8 oz. Maybe not that major these days, but in 1996 and in a small town… Let’s just say I was soon to be dubbed Pooh Bear. That is another story though.

Something was brought to my attention today. Apparently I have been looking at the high school dating “web” completely wrong. So, as I hear it, there is one girl in every school that is supposed to be super hot, or the most attractive at that school, and that is who all the guys flock too. Therefore, all the other girls cannot like a guy, or get a guy, because they are “unavailable” due to the fact they have a thing for this super hot girl. Is that true? Winifred’s opinion is that I am a Man Whore and will date anything with a skirt… In other words she was saying that I am shallow and will only date the cliché, dream girl. Which is not altogether wrong, I have standards and am picky about who I choose to date and not date. But Man Whore? I think not… well at least not fully. Girls, if you are reading this, you have as much of a chance at any guy at your school as long as you show them who you are. Sure they may watch this girls ass as she walks down the hall, typical- hey even I do it- but it doesn’t make them unavailable. For instance, I like a girl who has a great laugh and challenges me in some way. I am very big on eyes too. It is all about personalities, granted looks are taken into account, but they are not the deciding factor. Usually it is if they can handle or for lack of a better word, tolerate you. And that is the truth.

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