“So J, when did you first get laid?” Wow, backspace that and delete.
It’s high school. The era in every teenager’s life where, whether or not their parents like it, they experiment with sex. So the question isn’t too uncommon. There are always references to sex positions like “69,” “The Shocker,” “Doggy Style,” and what have you. So I was prepped with my response. The question is asked of me so often that I am actually considered a “Man Whore,” and the general population of my high school believes me to be very experienced in the area of sex. And why not? In the eighth grade, I made the man whore list because I broke up with a girl and then asked out her best friend. Now, that I am in high school it is all about sex. “Let’s talk about sex baby, let’s talk about you and me…”
So yes, I had my response. I promptly delve into my well rehearsed answer. I lost my virginity my freshmen year etc etc. It’s what they expect to hear, why tell them different? So when I am questioned, I give some mouth dropping response and am almost always clapped on the back and “You The MAN!” is given in response to my tale. So my readers, what is the truth? Am I in fact very experienced for my seventeen years? Or am I as ignorant as my 6th grade self, when I was asked if I wanted a blowjob and thought it had something to do with blow drying your hair? I suppose the answer is somewhere in between those two extremes.
To answer the most obvious question; I have never had sex. But to say that I do not know what a Blowjob is, would be going to the extreme. Yes, in the sixth grade I had no idea what it was (just like I didn’t know what an erection was) and when my fellow peers didn’t want to tell me, I asked them again in a very loud and clearly audible voice “What is a blowjob?” This guy Charlie then shushed me very quickly and said “Dude, it’s when a girl sucks your dick!” I then blushed to the roots of my hair, I understood.
In the near six years sense that moment I have grown very knowledgeable of many aspects of sex. I am an avid reader; I read 50 Shades of Grey and the other two books that followed…so I know a bit about everything that goes on. Of course, I have no experience in the area. And please do not think that I think that what happens in the 50 Shades books is what it is truly like. I believe the exact opposite.
So no, I have not had that moment where I went to bed a boy and rose with the sun as a man. They say that when a guy has sex for the first time, he will walk differently afterwards and forever. What does he have a new bounce in his step as he thinks “I just got laid!”? That’s how Winifred believes she will be able to know that I have lost my virginity. I know I will tell Achilles when it first happens, probably not Winifred- considering it would just be awkward. But who knows? Maybe she will pull it out of me.
So Friday I turn seventeen. And who knows when it will happen? It could happen tomorrow, next week, next month, or even next year. What I didn’t tell you is that I always end my story about how I lost my virginity with “Ha-ha just kidding!” It not something that I talk about. I somehow give off the impression of being a “man whore” without intentionally trying to. But when it happens… well do you know what? Do you know what the real point is? It’s no one else’s damn business. The door swings both ways too. If I choose to tell everyone about it; well that’s one thing. But I can only truly imagine telling Achilles. He’s my brother. Who else would you tell? It’s not something that you should want to make public. As of now I am completely comfortable with my ignorance. Now I may be itching to just get it over with, but two years now? Maybe even two seconds after it all happens, I might just look back on this point in my life and think of it as pure bliss. Everything seems so much more beautiful in retrospect.